Sunday, 13 May 2007

Log Blog


I only had to hold the brush in angry hands and splatter red paint in protest . I did not have to paint this picture this morning; only strip the canvas naked and scream.

The day was worse. Too much pain by far, for anyone to handle. Thirteen years and another few hours spent holding her, pressing my body up against hers, under the quilt, holding her head as if to protect her.

It is bad, ME. It is this serious.

This picture; so serene isn't it ?

I am too far gone to care anymore, so I will tell you what it reminds me off.

The Crucifixion.

13 comments:

Westerwitch/Headmistress said...

So hard for you to be there and have to watch. At least you are able to express your pain. And your is the smile that says everything is ok - remember. You smile for Hopping Moon and we will smile our support for you!

Faith said...

Oh I never know what to say to these kind of blogs. I'm here. I'm listening to you, and I am so sorry. You are doing the best you can and Hopping Moon wrote such a lovely blog. You support her so well.

bodran... said...

Beautiful photos, and excruciatingly beautiful honest blogs.ooooooooooooooooo

Un Peu Loufoque said...

Tumbling, you have captured the exhastion and resignation and pain in the eyes. I wish there was soemthing we could do to take it away. Don't let go.

Suffolkmum said...

I'm so sorry to read this. I too wish we could take it all away. Keep smiling for her.

toady said...

I have no words of comfort for you, only to say that we're all here for you and I hope you take comfort from that. Love to you and Hopping Moon.Toady

lixtroll said...

Dear Tumbling, I am so deeply sorry and moved. I have left messages on your YouTube address, I hope I did it right and that you find them there. All my best wishes to you and Hopping Moon XX

lixtroll said...

oh and I forgot to say. The painting is beautiful.

countrymousie said...

Very hard to nurse someone you love. You want to take their pain but can't.
On a brighter note I met my nutritionist today for the first time and she suffers with ME and has got it back on track and almost under control with diet and supplements. It works for her. Perhaps there is something out there for your wife and you will find it. love mousie

Eden said...

Tumbling, what a hard life you have. And what a brave and noble and good one.It must take every bit of strength you have.

I loved your three things from the last blog about being happy and fearless and in trouble. I can't figure the in trouble one myself. But I like the saying.

annakarenin said...

I read your wifes blog yesterday and recognised the picture you have painted when I came across yours today. Sorry but the name didn't immediately spring out at me.

Your lives are obviously very hard but you choose to raise peoples awareness and you both have the talent to do that in spite of everything. I hope and pray that some cure or relief can be found because it must be truly terrible at times.

But at others, there is the picture of you smiling on the beach and Hopping Moons pride in her new kitchen. .

Pondside said...

There aren't words for the pain of witnessing a beloved's pain. Your painting says it all. It must mean so much to Hopping Moon that you are so completley there in body and spirit.

Bluestocking Mum said...

I do understand what prolonged pain is like and the frustration my husband has from not being able to comfort me sometimes. So I know why you are angry.

All you can do is what you are doing. Be there for her and support her. You are a good man and we are all here to send all our positive vibes for you to get some strength.

warmest wishes to you both
x
PS-The painting is beautiful but also painful to look at, you capture the pain and anguish well.