Someone once pointed out that Jesus promised those that follow him three things : that they would be absurdly happy, utterly fearless and always in trouble.
The daily reality for my wife and I is constant illness, grinding pain and poverty, so our happiness seems absurd , yet it is bubbling over.
As for being fearless, well the opposite of love is not hate, but fear. The prerequisite to effective activism is to fall in love first, it is said, for you are much more likely to be coming from a whole position.
My own ongoing battle with fear and inadequacy is testament , you could argue, to where I am on the spiritual path !
It is the third promise though, that I find most interesting : "always in trouble". For that , I can see, is at the heart of so much of my self-imposed limitations.
A constant, deep level is that feeling that I have done something wrong, Ever since I have been married - and probably long before, there is a nagging feeling that I have not come up to my family's expectations : to take care of them, I think.
So my relationship with my family is not real. And that is a great shame - in all senses of the word.
Also I discover that if you take a stand in life and genuinely try to fight for a cause, as I and so many others are doing, you are quickly made to feel you are in some kind of trouble :
for your views
your actions
your dreams even
and this more often than not, from your own side, rather than the opposition.
Again and again it is fear - fear of change, fear of risk, fear of failure.
So they will betray you with a kiss.
Even so, love is triumphant !
2 comments:
Oh yes, fear is at the root of nearly every bad feeling - the amazing thing is to be able to recognise it and to stand up and face it, as you so bravely do. I am sorry to hear about your feelings about your family - perhaps while you are on the road you are at present treading, answers to that problem may present themselves along with others, right when you least expect it.
And just think - there may be those who are afraid of you that you will meet along the way! I don't mean to sound sinister in any way, but it's often something you couldn't concieve of yourself, so you don't recognise it when it happens - but whenever you come across an obstacle in your way, it's worth considering, to put a different perspective on things.
Good luck Tumbling! I'm off to see Hopping Moon now. X
Keep remembering that last comment! Love is triumphant . Where love is then fear is not. Keep holding on to love and connecting with love so fear has no place to be!
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