I just had to go to the sea last night. On a deserted beach, our backs to the wind I breathed deeply.
They say you are never closer to God that when you are enthusiastic : en-theos, filled with the Spirit . For you are following your call. Even so, one needs much more than enthusiasm to keep going more than a few steps
I am riddled with doubt and fear.
I have taken on a major leadership role in the fight for ME recognition. My enthusiasm for the task is white hot.
I know I have much to offer.
Yet so many old fears ; Abraham Maslow calls it the Jonah Comples :
"The evasion of one's own growth, the setting of low levels of aspiration, the fear of doing what one is capable of doing, voluntary self-crippling, pseudo-stupidity, mock humility."
For the ego wants to protect itself. Play safe. Find a good excuse to crawl under the blankets and give up, especially now I have started.
So yes, I am wracked with all kind of worries that I am going to get it wrong and mess up.
But I sit on this beach with the one I love and I know have done some things right.
Maybe it is because I am a bit older and wiser .
I distinctly see the tricky troubler for who he is and I am wise to his game.
12 comments:
You'll do a fantastic job 'cos' you're a good bloke. I'm a fine one to advise anybody about self doubt I know, but I know you can do it. Toady
I'm usually wracked by self-doubt too, but I have every faith in you. Good luck.
Gosh, that Jonah complex sounds like me entirely. Will have to go away and think hard about that.
Hope you can fight it in yourself and strive for what you can do. You would do it well.
It is all down to letting go and trusting in yourself and the fact that the way will become clear . . . then again I struggle with that everyday!!!
Yes, it is so true that people don't "grow" through fear of failure. I am too nervous to do lots of things for this reason.I think it was Nelson Mandela who once made a speech about the worse thing being that people were afraid to "let their light shine", as he put it.
Sure, you will be fine because you are doing it through love and I wish you good luck and many blessings. xx
You are doing a grand job - ME being such a misunderstood disease makes it all the more harder for you really. Much easier in a way if it were MS - most people know little about this and regard it as an illness. ME - thats a tough one as you know.
yOU WILL MAKE A WONDERFUL spokesperson for M.E, understandable you will have doubts, that's only human.
I bet Hopping Moon is really proud of you!
Stunning photto, oh how I miss the Norfolk Coast when I'm stuck here.
you will be fine i know because you sound so kind and honest x jep
My Grandpa said the best heros are the one's who know fear and step up to the mark as they show the most courage.
You bare your soul and we are all here to give you support. I love to read all sorts of blogs, but when I read one like yours how my heart goes out to you. Of course you will do a wonderful job - and probably much better that if you were full of self-confidence. Good luck and blessings Rho
What a powerful blog, just you keep going, I know what it is like to want to crawl away and hide under the duvet, I am sure we all do. What you are doing is very brave and will help others, good for you.
You are so full of wisdom and insight that I do not think it is possible for you to mess anything up Tumbling, and you speak from the heart.
I wish you all the very best in your fight for recognition of this frightful disease and I know that there are so many people out there who will benefit - I have told my friend in London who has suffered from ME for many years all about you and Hopping Moon, unfortunately she is these days so strapped for cash - can't work & no benefits, that she doesn't have the internet; so she can't see your wonderful blogs or the work you have done on Youtube. She was delighted to hear that somebody had taken on the cause and was fighting so hard, and it gave her heart to continue.
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